You are not trapped by the behaviour of the people who raised you. Create a new legacy.
1 Kings 15:11 (NLT) Asa did what was pleasing in the Lord’s sight, as his ancestor David had done. This verse captures a profound psychological and spiritual breakthrough. You may want to read the preceding chapters in order to appreciate this verse.
By definition, an ancestor is a family member (deceased) from whom you are directly descended. David was Asa’s great great grandfather. He had been deceased for roughly 80 to 90 years when King Asa took the throne. Asa had no personal interaction, memories or shared moments with David. His immediate father, Abijam and grandfather Rehoboam, spent their lives setting up idols and leading the nation into moral decay.
Young King Asa
Breaking the Patterns
Growing up, Asa’s daily reality was shaped by a family culture of compromise. His own grandmother, Maacah, was actively maintaining a pagan Asherah pole in the courtyard. It would have been easy for Asa to say, ‘This is just how my family rules,’ but he didn’t. Instead, he executed a shift and looked past his immediate generation and decided that his standard would be a man after God’s heart (David) who also happened to be in his lineage. Do you see where I’m going with this?
In doing so, Asa:
Banished the corruption his father allowed;
Destroyed the idols his immediate predecessor built and;
Deposed his own grandmother from her position as Queen Mother because of her idolatry.
When you choose a role model to emulate (living or long gone, physical or online) over your living family dysfunctions, you break cycles.
Examples
1.Breaking the ‘Passive but godless’ cycles
Reality: You are raised by parents who are decent, passive people. They do not abuse you, but offer no spiritual depth or moral conviction. They raise you simply to ‘get a job and fit in’ leaving you spiritually empty.
Shift: Find person(s) of faith that you can look up to and shadow their discipline and devotion.
Action: You start attending church, studying the Bible or volunteering You choose a higher spiritual standard over comfortable passivity.
2.Overcoming financial dysfunctions and disputes
Reality: Your family constantly fights over money. Your parents might be drowning in debt, grappling with greedy behaviour or are financially illiterate. The family dinner table is always a battleground of financial stress and bitterness.
Shift: Look for and study people who have exemplified financial wisdom, stewardship and integrity and have built a life of honesty.
Action: You set firm boundaries, build an emergency fund, pay off debt and practice giving.
3.Rejecting the normalcy of unhealthy marriages
Reality: Every marriage around you is toxic. Your parents scream at each other, your relatives are divorced or emotional abuse is normalized. Your family culture teaches you that ‘marriage is miserable’.
Shift: Study couples who have built healthy marriages.
Action: You go to therapy to unlearn communication habits you saw at home. You build healthy, loving relationships that honor God instead of mirroring what you saw at home.
The ‘modern Asa’ does not hate their family, but they realize that their relatives may be spiritually and emotionally bankrupt in certain areas. Instead of drinking from a poisoned well, they dig a new well and create a new legacy.
Note: While Asa’s kingship began well, towards the end he veered off from the Lord and there were consequences for that which is a story for another day. Get the full details in 2 Chronicles chapters 14 to 16. Today, I wanted to highlight that it is possible to break the patterns.
This has been my reflection this week. As always, take some time to read through the full chapter, as you may see even more than I’ve highlighted here. See you soon!
While writing this post, I was listening to the song below, which has completely captured my heart!
